The Valentine Fantasy (The Blessed Bulletin, Ep. 010)


The Valentine Fantasy (Episode 010)

February 2024

Lost in Multiversal Translation

Merriam-Webster defines the word valentine as a person chosen as a sweetheart, or a gift given to a sweetheart on Valentine's Day. The word and the holiday seem to have originated in the Middle Ages.

Valentinus (meaning "strong," "worthy," or "powerful") was a popular name between 200-800 AD (much like the name Avery -- "elf power" -- today). History.com tells us that some men (and at least one woman) by the name of Valentine or Valentinus existed, were martyred, and were sainted prior to the holiday being named or the first use of the word valentine. Other than that? We have lots of fantastic legends...

But who wants the real story?

(Right, me neither. What fun would that be?)

Rather, there's a better, and more epically fantastic, history of the word valentine.

The word valentine comes from the root word valin + tine.

Valin - Derived from Valinor (from The Lord of the Rings), the Blessed Realm of the immortal Valar, which is filled with beauty, love, and light. The Valar allow elves who don't want to live in Middle Earth, as well as the spirits of dead elves, to live eternally in Valinor. Men and Hobbits are rarely allowed in.

-Tine (-ine): "of or relating to."

Thus, valentine: a token of beauty, love, and light that is as timeless as Valinor.

There you go.

Whether you're sailing off to Valinor with your true love or just trying to make it through February without turning into a shadow of your former self, take heart; 'valentine' is clearly a fantasy word!

May your month be filled with legendary love, or at the very least, second breakfast...

Xianova Chronicles - "Futuristic Tech" in The Frozen

Guardsmen use 'dempguns,' short for 'directed EMP guns."

  • Militaries around the world already have directed EMP weapons of varying magnitudes, which completely destroy electronics within range.
  • The US Army is developing rifle-mounted EMP systems for taking out drones.

In The Frozen, dempguns are able to render a person's nanocytes inert without destroying them completely. That's the real trick!

The Status of Making Stuff Up...

Personal Life:

I can report the following wins for January: got the Christmas tree down before Easter 🙌, and overhauled my garden plan (see pic) so I can order seeds a month late. Our son Kyle and his dog, Maggie, arrived home safely for his month of leave.

Unfortunately, both Pukeapalooza and Diarrhea-geddon have continued on in spurts from last month until now, and Jim, Alex, and I also got a flu-like illness for a few days.

On the bright side, it was only stress colitis for Shawnie, the vomitous grandchild went home before infecting anyone else (in our house), and we've figured out two possibly major contributors to the 28 year old's vomiting episodes -- one of which we can probably mitigate by ensuring she is not left alone to stick her mouth under her bathroom faucet before bed...🙄

Dog Life:

Shawnie & Maggie: Shawnie discovered that dead-possumming only gets you so far when playing with a husky/shepherd mix your own age. So Shawnie learned to (play)fight like an actual dog, and in turn, taught Maggie how to possum and gargoyle.

Darryl: Jealous of the time Shawnie was spending with anyone but himself, and losing the battle miserably, Darryl resigned himself to becoming a nun. His application was rejected when evidence of his true nature (and conduct unbecoming) were brought forward.

Applying to the Nunnery

Chicken: …has been very disappointed in my lack of attention and focus on her, as well as my lack of butt-in-seat time in our office this last month. And also my repetitive and long-lasting use of the carpet shampooer and Lysol spray.

Writing Life:

Goals from last month:

✅ Survived again (kind of)

✅ Moved approximately 1/3 of 1 million tasks/projects to Ultimate Brain in Notion

Time Jumper scene revisions

✅ Plants can now be described as surviving

🟡 Worked on the picky eaters book...did not finish...😵‍💫

🟡 Pre-planned some promos for upcoming newsletters

⏹️ The Refuge audiobook edits

⏹️The Erebi draft

⏹️ New cover designer

Main Project Focus for Feb:

‼️Finish Would You Pleeease Just Eat Your Peas?! and its related support materials

❗Finish The Refuge audiobook edits

❗Continue pre-planning 2025 newsletter & social media content

⏹️ More Time Jumper

⏹️ The Erebi - cover designer

⏹️ Finish database updates

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Serial Fiction with Friends

Last month, Tucker was rescued from the hungry Capastraunian by the Nightwalker, who also pushed him into a hidden time stream.

You voted to keep following Tucker.

Vote for the next segment by clicking your choice at the end!

Read up on previous segments (in past issues) here.

Nero

Tucker popped out of the time stream, landing on his feet on the bank of a very warm yellow river, right behind the Nightwalker. The neon hues of this place were blinding. He felt like he’d popped through the looking-glass. But at least the slime and stench had been washed off.

“Does this purple shirt make me stand out?” mewed a giant, one-eyed, humanoid cat-being, who was holding a book in one hand and gazing into a mirror he’d positioned under a nearby bright blue tree. A breeze rustled the violet and aqua leaves as the cat turned back and forth, assessing his look while striking poses. After a minute or so, he finally turned his gaze to his visitors. He startled. "MrRow!" He flicked a paw, giving them each a very uncomfortable amount of scrutiny with his immense green eye.

Tucker covered himself with his hands and tried not to act as embarrassed as he felt. He blinked and squinted at the cat-being. “Ummm, no? Not to me -- but I’m not an expert in these things.”

“That’s why we don’t ask him for style advice,” the Nightwalker said. “That deep shade of purple is delicious. You will stand out quite nicely.”

The words seemed incompatible with the electronic voice output they were delivered in.

“Thank you,” said the cat-being, flicking his tail. He tossed his book under the tree. “Now, who are you and how did you get here? Good books have always transported me to extraordinary places...but a naked man and a shadow being popping into my territory out of nowhere is a whole new level!” Talon-like claws casually appeared at the end of his long fingers as he crossed his arms.

“Indeed,” said the Nightwalker. “We are only figments of your imagination. Pink plum juice people.”

The cat huffed and growled, “Nice try!" He sniffed the air, moving toward them. "I haven’t had any juice for a week! I’m clean! Let's try again...”

Tucker stepped closer to the Nightwalker. “Where are we?” he whispered.

“So you don’t know where you are, young human? You smell awfully familiar to me," the cat-being purred, suddenly appearing next to Tucker's face. He rubbed cheeks and left a palpable cat scent behind. "I’m fairly certain you’re another iteration of my favorite human.”

The cat turned to the Nightwalker and closed the distance between them without seeming to move. “And you," he sniffed and sneezed in her face, "you are my nemesis of old. But why are you here together? This is a confusing development.” His tail flicked as he turned and trained his eye on them.

“I broke him out of a Tjalian prison.”

“Why would you do such a selfless thing?” the cat-being placed a claw under the Nightwalker's chin. “I have a hard time believing anything you say.” He looked at Tucker. “Is she telling the whole truth?”

Tucker found the scrutiny of the huge eye quite unnerving, especially when combined with those claws. “I-I don’t know why she did it, or even who she is. I didn’t even know she was a 'she' until you told me so just now. I've lost a lot of memories. But yes, she did just break me out of a Tjalian prison cell, and I was seconds from becoming a Capastraunian snack when she saved me.”

“Interrrrrresting,” the cat-being purred, putting a little more upward pressure on the claw under the Nightwalker's chin. “The suspense builds. I do loooove a good plot." He considered for a moment. "I suppose I will let you live, this time,” he growled at the Nightwalker, retracting his claw from her chin. “But only because you're with Tucker.

"Carry on," he stepped to the side and waved them toward a path through the neon blue trees, keeping his gaze firmly attached to the Nightwalker. "I assume you are headed to the portal to the south. I don't want your scent to linger here if the Tjalians are on your tail. Plausible deniability, and all.”

“Say hello to your wife for me, Nero,” said the Nightwalker as she passed him.

“I would, but she recently passed away -- car accident.” He examined his claws.

“I’m sorry to hear that! But...how did it happen? No one on your planet drives cars.”

“I tell people that because no one would believe the real story,” Nero said. “I killed her. She cheated on me with a Tjalian.”

“And people believe the car accident story?”

“Well, of course I say it happened while she was visiting another planet.”

“Well, I’m sorry for your loss, nonetheless.”

“We both know you are a twisted, selfish sociopath, much like myself, my dear. But I’ll take the polite sentiment, nonetheless. Tucker, put some clothes on.” He pulled off the new purple shirt and stuffed it down over Tucker's head.

Now Tucker had a long purple dress.

“You wouldn’t happen to have your wings parked nearby, would you?” the Nightwalker asked.

“Yes, but I’m not flying you anywhere, regardless of who you're with. Now get out of here." He purred at Tucker. "Good luck. And watch your back. She likes to stab them."

Thanks for reading this episode of The Blessed Bulletin! See you next month!

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